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Toddler Noise in HDB Flats: Why My Child’s Footsteps Aren’t a Nuisance, They’re Life

Close-up of a toddler’s bare feet taking small running steps across tiled floors in a bright home, symbolising the natural sounds of everyday family life in an HDB flat.

If I had a dollar for every time someone in my household told my toddler not to make noise because “you’ll disturb the neighbours,” I might not have to work anymore.


The latest incident? Just 2 Fridays ago, around noon — broad daylight, not some ungodly hour. My mom handled the door calmly. Brandon, being two, ran over too. We asked him to say sorry for disturbing, though let’s be honest: a two-year-old doesn’t quite understand what that means. The funny part? Just the other day Brandon pointed out chair-scraping sounds from our upstairs neighbour. We told him, “Yes, that’s noise from them — and just like that, the people downstairs hear when you run.” I tried to help him connect the dots.


But here’s where it gets stale, fast. He’s two. He runs. He stomps. He laughs. That’s not misbehaviour; that’s development. Telling a toddler not to run is like telling the sun not to shine.


Why Toddlers Stomp and Run


Child development research is clear: gross motor play is essential for brain growth. When toddlers run, jump, and stomp, they’re not “acting out” — they’re literally wiring connections for coordination, balance, and self-regulation (Adolph & Hoch, 2019). Cornejo (2018) also emphasises that active play is “essential to development because it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children.”


Restricting that movement isn’t just unrealistic, it’s harmful. Research shows that when kids are constantly told to suppress what comes naturally, they eventually do stop — but at a cost. They lose curiosity, confidence, and joy (Ryan & Deci, 2000).


What Counts as “Normal Living Noise” - Understanding Toddler Noise in HDB Flats


And yet, the downstairs neighbour has knocked a handful of times now, each time calm but insistent: Brandon’s footsteps are “too noisy.” And here’s the kicker: the guys upstairs have been doing demolition work all week. Drilling, hammering, scraping — the kind of noise you feel in your teeth. And somehow, toddler footsteps are the intolerable sound?


Even more ironic: that week, we weren’t even home half the time. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday — Brandon and I spent hours at his grandaunt’s. On Wednesday, I even took him to the Bird Park, and we didn’t come home till late at night. Yet we still got told the noise had been “going on for days.” It’s an exaggeration that makes the complaint even harder to take seriously.


Here’s the truth: I empathise with shift workers. I know rest is precious. But this is HDB living. Everyday noise is part of the deal. Singapore’s own OneService and Community Advisory Panel on Neighbourhood Noise recognise that “neighbour noise” includes the sounds of movement, furniture being dragged, or daily household activity — the ordinary sounds of people living their lives.


In fact, the Ministry of National Development (MND) has confirmed that there are currently no established noise limits for sounds generated by residents in their homes — only for renovation and construction noise (MND, 2022). The lack of clear boundaries leaves interpretation wide open, which may explain why simple, everyday family life so easily becomes a source of tension.


Sometimes I think there are just two kinds of people: those who hear noise from upstairs and laugh it off, and those who hear it a handful of times before heading up for a chat. I suppose I understand both sides — prolonged renovation noise gets to me too. But chairs scraping? Little footsteps? Not so much. If it ever did bother me that much, I’d probably remove myself from the situation — step out, take a walk, or simply go somewhere quieter for a while. Because at the end of the day, everyone has the same right to be in their own home. And for us, that means I can’t not entertain, or tie my son up, or avoid coming home just because we don’t want another knock on the door.


Living with toddler noise in HDB flats isn’t about ignoring neighbours — it’s about learning to balance empathy with reality. Parents can do their best to be considerate, but children will still run, play, and laugh. That’s not carelessness; it’s life unfolding.


The Boundary Parents Can’t Cross


We’re not ungracious. We do our part:


  • Brandon gets outdoor time every day so he doesn’t bounce off the walls.

  • We’ve apologised at the door.

  • We’ve explained the concept of noise to a two-year-old, as best as one can.


But here’s the boundary: I can’t, and won’t, police every footstep of my child. That’s neither fair to him, nor healthy for us as a family.


And honestly — if the roles were reversed, what solutions would you suggest? If your own toddler was two years old, full of energy, and someone came knocking, what would you do? Tie them to a chair? Cushion your entire flat with rugs and mats?


One suggestion received from our neighbour was to put Brandon in a playpen — with a mat underneath, of course. But anyone who’s ever met an actual toddler knows how unrealistic that is. Unless the child is unusually inactive or overly controlled, they’re not staying penned in for long. A healthy, curious two-year-old will explore, test limits, and yes, make noise. That’s not disobedience. That’s growth in motion.


Sure, some toddlers seem naturally quieter — and that can happen for many reasons: temperament, developmental differences, environment, or sometimes, yes, too much screen time. Research shows that when active play is replaced by long periods of screen use, it’s linked to lower physical activity and weaker motor development (Carson et al., 2017; Tremblay et al., 2017). But quiet isn’t always peace — sometimes it’s a sign of a child whose world has been kept too small.


Even if we lined the floor with a foot of foam, the thumping wouldn’t vanish. Which really brings us back to the bigger question: are we expecting families to live, or just to exist quietly?


And let’s be clear: the “quick fix” of rushing a child into school to keep them out of the house isn’t the answer either. To push a two-year-old into institutional care, not because he’s ready or because it’s good for him, but because a neighbour doesn’t want to hear footsteps? That’s not parenting. That’s not community. That’s just convenience at a child’s expense.


Home should be the one place a child can be fully themselves — stomps, giggles, meltdowns and all. If we can’t even give our kids that, what are we really teaching them? That their presence is a problem? That their joy must always bend to someone else’s comfort?


The Bigger Picture


And maybe this is why so many Singaporeans hesitate to have kids at all. Life here is already tough — long hours, high expectations, endless stresses. Add on the ungraciousness of society, where even a child’s footsteps are seen as a nuisance, and it’s not hard to see why parenthood feels like more burden than joy.


The funny thing? My neighbor isn’t childless. He has at least one child of his own. So I can’t help but wonder: did his kid never run across the floor? Never stomp or cry? Or does he now look back and think his child was a perfect angel who never disturbed anyone? Memory can be selective. But childhood noise isn’t a flaw — it’s part of growing up.


And perhaps what hurts me most isn’t even the repeated complaints. It’s this: I don’t want Brandon growing up sad, cautious, or with his spark diminished. One day, the footsteps will stop — not because he’s learned to tiptoe, but because he’s grown up. When that day comes, I’d rather remember a home filled with life and stomping than one silenced by fear of disturbing a neighbour.


So Where Do We Go From Here?


Maybe the question isn’t how to make our homes quieter, but how to make our communities kinder.If a child’s laughter or footsteps already feels unbearable, maybe what’s missing isn’t soundproofing — it’s empathy.


Families can do their part by keeping play reasonable during rest hours, but neighbours, too, can learn to extend grace. Life in high-rise housing will never be silent; that’s the trade-off for living close together.


And honestly — if you truly crave silence, maybe the solution isn’t asking families to quiet their lives.Maybe it’s to look for a home where silence naturally exists — like a landed property. 😉


📌 References



  • Carson, V., Lee, E.-Y., Hesketh, K. D., Hunter, S., Kuzik, N., Predy, M., Rhodes, R. E., Rinaldi, C. M., Spence, J. C., & Hinkley, T. (2019). Physical activity and sedentary behavior across three time-points and associations with social skills in early childhood. BMC Public Health, 19(1), Article 27. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-018-6381-x



  • Cornejo, C. E. (2018). The power of play: a pediatric role in enhancing development in young children. Acta pediátrica española, 76(9/10), 132–133.




  • Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-Determination Theory and the Facilitation of Intrinsic Motivation, Social Development, and Well-Being. The American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68


  • Tremblay, M. S., Aubert, S., Barnes, J. D., Saunders, T. J., Carson, V., Latimer-Cheung, A. E., Chastin, S. F. M., Altenburg, T. M., & Chinapaw, M. J. M. (2017). Sedentary Behavior Research Network (SBRN) – Terminology Consensus Project process and outcome. The International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, 14(1), Article 75. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12966-017-0525-8

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