Inclusive Learning Starts at Home: Everyday Parenting for Raising Respectful Kids

Shirlyn
Aug 19, 2025
5 min read

Updated: Aug 28, 2025

A young boy with a wide grin wearing a mustard-yellow shirt fist bumps a cleaner in a safety vest and gloves, with a yellow mop bucket nearby in a bright corridor.

The other day, my son Brandon was walking through a mall when he noticed a cleaner at work. Without hesitation, he broke into a smile, waved, and offered a little fist bump. To him, it was simple: here’s another person sharing the same space with us. No titles, no hierarchy, no invisible lines dividing who deserves a smile and who doesn’t.

As adults, though, we often complicate things. We may not mean to, but children watch how we interact - who we greet, who we ignore, whose work we talk about with pride, and whose we don’t mention at all. Long before schools talk about inclusive education, our children are already learning inclusion at home in the smallest, most ordinary moments.

In fact, I prefer to call it inclusive learning - because inclusion isn’t limited to classrooms. It’s a way of living and learning across all of life.

What Does “Being Inclusive” Mean?

Being inclusive means recognising and respecting every person, regardless of ability, background, role, or circumstance. It’s about treating others with dignity, creating a sense of belonging, and valuing different ways of communicating, learning, and living.

What Inclusive Learning Looks Like in Everyday Family Life

When we hear the word inclusion, many of us think first about schools making space for children with disabilities. And yes, that is important. But inclusion is far broader.

It’s about how we treat the elderly neighbour who takes longer at the checkout line. It’s about how we talk about construction workers, cleaners, or delivery riders in front of our children. It’s about how we respond when our kids meet someone who looks, speaks, or moves differently.

At its heart, inclusion is simply this: treating every person with the same respect you’d want for your own family.

That lesson starts long before the classroom.

Practical Parenting Tips for Teaching Inclusion at Home

Children don’t need lectures about diversity. They need to see respect lived out in front of them. Here are some everyday practices that make a difference:

Name and notice people’s contributions. Instead of rushing past, pause to say, “Let’s thank the uncle for keeping the floor clean so we don’t slip.”
Expose kids to difference through play and stories. Books with diverse characters, dolls of different skin tones, or shows that normalise disability representation broaden their worldview.
Choose inclusive language. Replace dismissive phrases (“That’s a silly question”) with affirming ones (“That’s a good question - let’s find out together”).
Model empathy in real time. When someone is struggling - an elderly person climbing stairs, a parent juggling bags - narrate your thought process: “Let’s see how we can give them space.”
Encourage connection. Don’t shush your toddler when they wave to a worker, a person with a cane, or someone in a wheelchair. These are opportunities to nurture comfort, not fear.

For me, one of the most unexpected bridges has been Baby Sign Language. Like many parents, I first saw it as a tool to help children express themselves before they could speak. But over time, I realized it’s also a beautiful doorway into the Deaf and hard of hearing community. Even learning just the basics — “more,” “thank you,” “play” — teaches our children that communication comes in many forms, all equally valid.

It’s one of those divine teaching - learning moments where two passions meet: supporting children’s development and building a more inclusive world. By giving our kids tools to connect beyond spoken words, we also show them that difference isn’t something to fear, it’s simply another way of being human.

When Your Child Notices Differences

Brandon is fascinated by wheels. Strollers, cars, scooters - and yes, wheelchairs or personal mobility devices. To him, they’re just cool wheels. He doesn’t know any different.

But when children point out things like this, parents often panic. Many hush their kids or rush them away, worried about being rude. Yet that instinct can accidentally teach children that difference is something to avoid.

Instead, we can use these moments as chances to model respect:

Acknowledge what your child notices. (“Yes, that’s a wheelchair. It helps people move around.”)
Frame difference as something to celebrate. (“Isn’t it great that there are many ways to get from place to place?”)
When it feels right, gently introduce yourself. A simple approach works: “Hi, my child is curious about your wheelchair. We don’t mean to intrude, would you mind sharing how it helps you?”

Not everyone will want to engage, and that’s okay. But by showing our children that it’s fine to notice, ask politely, and listen, we teach them that inclusion isn’t about pretending differences don’t exist. It’s about valuing them as part of our shared humanity.

Why Early Inclusive Learning Matters: What Research Says

Psychologists have found that children begin forming attitudes about difference as early as age three to five. Left unchecked, biases can take root just as quickly. But when children are exposed to positive, respectful interactions, they learn empathy, fairness, and openness.

Research also shows that parental modelling is one of the strongest predictors of how children will approach diversity in school settings (Pahlke et al., 2012). In other words: schools can’t do this work alone. What children carry into the classroom - their attitudes, assumptions, and everyday behaviours - comes largely from what they see at home.

Studies on Baby Sign Language add another layer: children exposed to multiple forms of communication early on tend to be more flexible and empathetic communicators (Goodwyn et al., 2000). Even a handful of simple signs sends a powerful message - different doesn’t mean lesser, it just means human.

Inclusive schools thrive when they are reinforced by inclusive homes. And inclusive learning doesn’t end when the bell rings — it’s lifelong.

Why I Use the Word “Learning”

Even though I hold a Master in Special and Inclusive Education, I choose to use the phrase inclusive learning. To me, learning captures what happens at home, in communities, in sports, in therapy, and in everyday life - not just in schools.

This is also why the network I’m part of chose to call itself the Singapore Network for Inclusive Learning (SNIL). Many of us come from different fields - education, therapy, sports, parenting, counselling - and not all of us are classroom teachers. But we share a belief that inclusion is learned, practiced, and lived across all of life.

Building a Culture of Respect

As parents and caregivers, we often think of education as something that happens once the school bell rings. But our children are learning constantly. They are absorbing how we talk about the world, who we acknowledge, and how we treat people.

If we want them to grow up into adults who value fairness and inclusion, we can’t outsource that responsibility to teachers. It starts with us.

When my son waves at a cleaner, I see hope - that his natural instinct to connect will remain unclouded by bias or hierarchy. My job is not to stop him, but to nurture that impulse, to show him that respect is not earned by title, pay, or status. It’s something every human being deserves.

Because inclusive learning isn’t a subject.

It’s a way of living.

And it begins at home.